Polite communication

Hi, I am Joeun, doing an internship at Wf360 here in NYC. I am Korean, born and raised, but have lived in France for the past nine years. As you can probably imagine, I have experienced many different cultural habits and customs and have a fused point of view of many things. One which I would like to share is the level of politeness in the 3 countries I have lived in and how it affected my daily life. 

Korea is the country I have lived in that focuses the most on respect and politeness. It’s a little too much if you ask me and I had been really done with all the formal politeness. I’m not talking about the fact that everyone is born with the knowledge to respect their elders but about the idea of how one speaks to another. In Korea, the use of language to show respect is commonly used. For example, there are several ways to talk to someone: from a very formal way with respect to a more casual way that you would use to talk with your friends. 

It is also very common to be asked your age at the first encounter as this determines the terms of respect between you and the other person. It is nice to show your respect but for me, I think it is odd in certain circumstances. Normally you would speak politely to someone who is older but if you enter a university or a company and are older than your superiors or even co-workers, you are supposed to use the polite version with honorific expressions. Personally, I think it would be easier to communicate more casually with each other but of course, showing some politeness to your peers. 

When I was in France, I found that the French were strongly attached to politeness expressed in their written language. This is because they are very bureaucratic with conservative cultural values and their language fits well with this. For example, you have to write a letter for everything (like canceling your cell phone service) with standardized manners which sound so fake. Although it may be strange, I still enjoy their flowery and overly-ornate language. In terms of spoken language, they are not as formal as they are in Korea and they don’t ask your age in the very beginning. This is more normal to me. 

Now that I am experiencing life in the US, I often face this general free style of communication. The friendly American way can be considered rude especially compared to the other countries I have lived in but for me, it is good to be simple and more natural. Here, I am trying to appreciate the random conversations with a stranger, not having to ask for someone’s age and not seeing this flowery written language everywhere. Nevertheless, although I enjoy the more casual conversations in this country, I am still adjusting myself to the American food service manners. As a previous international intern has mentioned, servers are not always polite and sometimes eager to rush you out of your dinner. I miss the European service where meals are meant to last for hours with polite service and staffs.

Living in different countries and experiencing these cultures teaches you a great deal of how people communicate differently. It makes you think about these differences and the balance needed, which isn’t always easy to get. I believe that even though you prefer one culture’s customs over another, you should try to fit yourself to the culture you are currently living in.