Roses And Thorns: Conversation With Umber Ahmad

I had breakfast this morning at Centro, a terrific restaurant close to Grand Central, with a new friend, an amazing young woman who excels in multiple categories.  Her name is Umber Ahmad and to say she is  a partner and executive director of an investment advisory firm with offices in both Dubai and New York City is just a teaser.  Besides her impressive experience in financial services, Umber's got chops in lots of other areas.  She got her undergrad degree from MIT, where she specialized in Genetics, then went on to get a masters in International Health Policy from the University of Michigan and after that an MBA in Finance and Health Care Management from Wharton.  While at MIT, she did genetic research as part of a human genome project there and MIT obtained a patent on one of the processes she helped develop. 

   

Umber is a global citizen in many ways.  She speaks Urdu, Punjabi, English, French, Spanish and enough Italian to socialize.    She told me about an exciting film project on which she is executive producer (yeah, she does that, too) and she's the show's co-host.   In fact she just came back from Mexico where they filmed a segment.  We got around to the subject of food and why no matter where you grow up, conversations over meals are important in shaping children's views of the world as well as their attitudes and ambitions. 

Umber's family made a big deal about the evening meal.  Her father, a surgeon, made an effort to get home every day to spend that important time with his family and her mother instituted, while Umber was very young, a ritual that became part of those family gatherings.  Her mother explained that every life has both happiness and sadness; that every day some things will go well and others not so well and that the mix of all those experiences is what constitutes a full life.  At every dinner, Umber, her sister and Umber's parents each offered up to the rest of the family the "roses and thorns" of their day.  Roses were the things that went well; thorns, those things that were obstacles, tough to deal with, not so nice.

 

After our breakfast, I thought a while about my frustration that so many families--at least American families--don't have dinner together, much less a family conversation, every day.  Some do in fact eat together, but they are watching a television show or otherwise distracted from any kind of meaningful exchange taking place at the table.  Think of Umber's childhood and how important the lessons were that she learned with her family over dinner.  Here are some that occurred to me:

1) Every day has high points and low points.  It's all part of life and we learn from both kinds of experiences.

2) Everyone--no matter how important, how rich, how gifted--has these high points and low points in their day.  As we come to accept that in our own life, it is helpful to know that other human beings walk the same experiential path of happiness and sadness.

3) By sharing our triumphs and our challenges, we learn from others how to handle both.

4) Sometimes talking with others about a challenge we are facing is enough to turn it into an opportunity.

 

How about you?  Do you have a "roses and thorns" discussion over dinner?  How would dinner be different if you did?  How would your relationship with the others around the table differ if you did?

Comments

[house plans]

A lesson to be learned. Great article.