People have asked me for more information about the annual "State of the Union" exercise my husband and I put together. Every year on December 31 we meet for a conversation in which we review our accomplishments of the past year and plan, together, for the new year. Here's how it works:
We put together a review of the past year (my husband, a former banker, does the financial stuff and I add other items of importance to us). Independently, we put together our plans and wishes for the new year. We have several areas for discussion and we each put down our goals for the year in each category: financial (including potential investments, insurance, etc).; career; personal (as in a massage every month ; exercise X times a week, etc); children; vacation; interpersonal (what we want to do together). We end up with a calendar on which we have the timeline roughly outlined, and steps that need to be taken in order to accomplish the goals, with responsibilities for necessary steps, so it's clear who is doing what.
When we meet, we start with a review of the past year. What worked, what didn't. Then we move to the new year and what each of us wants to accomplish. Then we come up with our mutual plan for the year, so that each of us feels we've been heard and we tweak it until we're both excited and committed to the plan. That's pretty much it. Takes the better part of a day. Last year, we had an initial discussion and then separated for several hours while each of us worked on revisions to our individual plans based on the initial conversation. Then we met again and pulled together our blueprint for the year which included our agreement to sell our house in Connecticut, travel for 2 weeks to Italy or France, go to Asia at least once, work on building my husband's "Trusted Advisory" business (he's the world's best business coach, in my view), etc. We accomplished all that stuff, but there were other things we didn't. We allow ourselves to revisit and shift the plan during the year as needed, just as you do in a business.
One of my friends said "Good Lord! This looks like work...I mean real WORK!" after I described the process. Yes, I suppose so, but we take pride in it and feel energized by the whole thing. After it's over, we celebrate New Years Eve. And feel privileged that we have lots to celebrate, as well as anticipate in the coming year. I'd love to hear how others do this.
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